Honor Bound Page 6

Candy stood on tiptoe and peered into my eyes. "Arthur Salzman, if I talk to you will you do me the courtesy of listening?"

  Wow, feisty!

  George laughed, Vicky sniggered, and Candy kept glaring at me. People didn't talk to me like this. Okay, they did, but only the grinning fools at the table. Guess I had one more strong-willed woman to add to the list of ladies I adored that could handle The Hat.

  I held my hands up and said, "I apologize. Okay, listen up everyone, as you're all watching me like I'm a freak show. This is all very strange, and I feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. I'm nervous because I don't want George getting upset with me bringing anyone home. I'm also not sure where this is going or how Candy feels, and I'm sure she could do without the intensity, and I know I'm not helping, so can we all please just act normal?" My voice was rising and I was waving my arms about, but that was it, all I had to say.

  "Dad, I'm fine. I told you."

  "I know, but I worry."

  "Sorry," said Vicky.

  "Arthur, honestly, everything is okay," said Candy, eyes softening as she put her hand on my shoulder. "We all know each other. I like George and Vicky, I like you, and to be honest, weird as it sounds, I feel at ease here, like I've been here loads of times."

  "You sure?"

  "Yeah, the only one making this odd is you, Dad," said George.

  "Oh, right. Er, well, glad that's sorted then."

  "Now, as I was saying before you began shouting and being weirder than usual, will you please take me back to the city? I have to get to work."

  "Oh, damn, the cafe. Your customers will be annoyed."

  "Don't worry, Teresa opened up. I asked her yesterday."

  "Did you now?" I asked, smiling. Guess Candy had planned on making the night special.

  "I did." Candy kissed me, and I didn't feel like a fool, or glance around to see who was looking. It was just nice, natural.

  We left a few minutes later. The Hat had successfully navigated some rough terrain dealing with so many women in his kitchen and deserved a big pat on the back. I did pretty good, right?

  We went through the portal without incident. Then we walked a few streets, found the car eventually, and I drove Candy to work. She had clothes and stuff there so no need to go home, although I still didn't know where home was.

  Outside the door to the busy cafe, the smell of bitter coffee strong in the air, the windows steamed up, the heat of the day making the air thick with a haze I felt in my head and body, I uttered words difficult to say. "Can we go out again tomorrow? I have the feeling I'm busy tonight."

  "That would be lovely. And Arthur?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Relax a little, okay? I know it's hard bringing someone home when you have a daughter, but George is a smart, resourceful girl. She made it her business to come see me and get to know me. She's a great girl. So relax, all right?"

  "I'll try, but it isn't easy."

  "Not the kind of bloke to chill out and not stress, are you?"

  "You don't know the half of it," I muttered, wishing with all my heart that I could just relax. But, strangely, I did feel calm, lighter, and that was all down to this wonderful woman beside me.

  "See you tomorrow. I had a lovely time. And trust me, you were great."

  "Great?"

  "You are so dense sometimes. The sex, Arthur. It was fantastic."

  Saying nothing, as I was feeling too smug, I cupped her head gently between my rough hands and kissed her.

  It was with a broad grin that I went on my merry way. Yeah, I know, but sometimes it's nice to hear confirmed what you try to convince yourself of. That being, The Hat still had it.

  Getting It Together

  The grin remained as I wandered the city streets in a smog of smugness. It wasn't just the compliment that had lifted my spirits, it was the whole thing. Not only had it been an awesome night with Candy, and I was commended for it, but everything had gone better than I could have imagined in the morning. And on top of all that I'd slept like a baby.

  My body felt truly alive. Hardly anything ached, my head was clear, my thoughts sharp, and my senses alert in a way I'd forgotten they could be. I could hear better, smell better, taste better, and the lingering scent of her perfume filled my nostrils. Although that was probably wishful thinking, as the warm air and lack of even the slightest breeze meant the city was already thick with car fumes and the heat of too many bodies in too small a space.

  I had to get away from here. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to wallow in this filth. I needed space and clean country air to enhance my mood, to keep my spirits high, and so I rushed through the streets, closed the door thankfully on my car, and was enveloped in silence as I hightailed it back to the countryside as fast as possible.

  I think it was only about halfway home I even remembered the slaughter that had occurred in Candy's cafe the night before. No wonder the night had been impassioned. Violence can do funny things to you, and I guess both of us had been pretty hyped after such a display.

  What that said about me, and her, I didn't want to dwell on, as it wouldn't lead to a good place.

  And then I thought of Vicky. Damn, had I really forgotten what we'd agreed to do? I had. The most epic, mad, definitely impossible job ever and I'd forgotten all about it as I was overcome with lust and nerves about taking a nice lady home with me. I needed to get a grip, there was dangerous work to be done and I at least congratulated myself on not having made a date for this evening.

  "Better get this over with," I grumbled as I stepped through the portal and into my barn.

  I stood outside for a while, staring off to the distant sea, letting the breeze coming in ruffle my hair and smooth away my frown while I thought about what had to be done, and how I could pull it off.

  I had absolutely no idea.

  Vicky's Plan

  "I've got it all worked out," said Vicky as she glanced up from her laptop then clacked away like a mad monkey with some Shakespeare to write. Her fingers were a blur as she hammered the poor device like it had been very naughty, and she kept running her tongue over her top teeth as she was prone to do when concentrating.

  With a flourish, she assaulted several more keys, snapped the lid closed, leaned back, and folded her arms, looking impossibly pleased with herself.

  "Good, because I haven't," I moaned, slumping into a chair at the table as my mood dropped and reality came crashing back in. "This is why you're here then? To go over what we're going to do?"

  "Of course. So stop thinking of boobs and start thinking of the job."

  "I was not thinking about boobs." I was.

  "Liar. But I'm happy for you, Arthur, I really am. I like Candy, and admit it, she is way out of your league."

  "But..." I spluttered, "you're the one who told me to ask her out. You said she liked me, that I was a catch. You said I was what women liked, that she'd say yes."

  "Did I?" asked Vicky innocently. "Oh, well, I thought maybe there might be a chance, but she is younger than you, and very hot."

  I went cold, then began to sweat. "Buster's hat, you mean I could have made a fool of myself? I thought you were sure she fancied me?"

  "I was. Sort of. A bit."

  "Ugh." I felt sick, but I guess it had worked out, so I should be grateful. And she was hot, and younger than me, although most women were. Single ones, anyway.

  "Now, about my plan," said Vicky, with that mischievous glint in her eye I knew meant only one thing.

  Trouble.

  No Plan

  "Absolutely not," I said after Vicky had spent half an hour laying out a "perfect plan" she could have explained in about three minutes.

  "It's perfect," she protested.

  "It is not. I am the expert, the mastermind, the one who devises the foolproof plan that always sees me get away with the goodies and have to drag you away before you ruin it."

  "I do not."

  "What about the time you 'accidentally' followed me inside and set off deadly gas in a s
trong room?"

  "That was a one-off."

  "Or the time you missed the electronic spears in that spooky house, and they started shooting out of the walls after I took the Brooch of Invisibility?"

  "That wasn't my fault! And anyway, we had the brooch so we got away."

  "Yeah, but the dog still ate my boots. Or the time that you said the alarm system was disabled and then I got locked in a cage and three monkeys, monkeys, actual monkeys, came screaming at me and I had to—"

  "Yeah, yeah, so there have been a few minor mishaps, but this plan is amazing."

  Calmly, not reveling in pointing out the many flaws in her plan, I went through her ideas and told her why it wouldn't work. I didn't count them off on my fingers and make fun of her lack of dastardly planning, or smile smugly, but I may have been grinning a little as I shot down her ideas.

  "Spoilsport," said Vicky, sulking after I'd finished.

  "If it's any consolation, your plan is still better than mine."

  "Why, what's yours?"

  "I haven't got one."

  "Oh."

  "Yet."

  My Plan

  For the next several hours, while George popped in to make coffee then headed off to do stuff I didn't ask about as I was trying not to be pushy and mostly failing, Vicky and I sat around going over and over things as we tried to find a way to do what we'd promised to do rather than get ourselves killed.

  We drew a blank.

  Ivan, in his wisdom, had asked us to do the impossible. He, or rather, Mikalus, wanted us to pull off the largest heist in history, and our mark was Cerberus itself. Mikalus, uber vampire with a grudge against Carmichael and thus Cerberus, wanted back what was his. All of it.

  He wanted what he felt was his by right, everything taken from his library all those years ago. Hundreds of books of all manner and description, and it just wasn't possible.

  Mikalus had done his research, had discovered what books were in Cerberus' care and which were out in the wilds so to speak, and so far, until I put a stop to it, I'd been chasing down those that had evaded Cerberus. I assumed when he got killed his staff had done what they could to hide some books, whisked them away somewhere, but Carmichael or whoever else was around at the time had taken most of the library and locked it away along with so much else.

  Now Mikalus was in a position to reclaim what was his, and I was tasked with retrieving his collection. This went way beyond stealing books angels wanted back, which had caused me to stop working for him, this was on a whole other scale of madness.

  But Ivan had told us things nobody else knew, had shared secret information and made it clear that however much it seemed like we were being given a good deal, this was personal, between me and him.

  Sure, I could have said no, but I knew it would be bad if I did. They wouldn't let it lie, and Mikalus, nice as he'd been so far, was, when you got right down to it, the original vampire.

  I cursed ever getting involved in their business. Cerberus was to blame for that. They'd tricked me into stealing his ashes, so this was all their fault. And this was the real reason why I agreed. Not because I was afraid of the vampires, but because Cerberus had it coming. They'd put me in an impossible situation by getting me involved in this whole sorry mess.

  It was them who'd caused Mikalus to be resurrected because of their own greed and obsession with his ashes. It wasn't my fault the vamps were on their case and took them for themselves to resurrect their leader. Okay, maybe a teeny-weeny bit, but what's a poor wizard to do?

  So this was about revenge for me, as well as Mikalus getting his revenge too. I wanted to rub Cerberus' face in the mess they'd created, and this was the perfect way to do it. I'd steal the books from right under their noses and they'd have to suck it up. I'd be free of the vampires, owe them nothing, and sure, it would mean the Hounds would be baying for my blood, but if I played my cards right I'd have a bargaining chip to make absolutely certain they never came near me or mine ever again.

  All I had to do was figure out how to do it, and so far I had a big fat nothing. Oh, I had one thing. A very bad headache.

  Hours later, after a crap sandwich, way too much coffee that sent me dashing for a pee every half hour, and with Vicky being Vicky, but a distilled, even more annoying version, after trawling over the obviously fake plans for the building Vicky unearthed, looking at aerial satellite imagery, going over what we remembered from being inside the building and the warehouse itself, and any other information we could get our hands on, I finally leaned back, laced my hands behind my head, and groaned, utterly exasperated.

  "We can't do it," I said.

  "Why not just use the Teleron and jump right in?"

  "That's what Ivan thought I'd do, but it won't work."

  "Why not?"

  "Vicky, we've been over this. They've got that fucking scrubber, a magical scrubber. It stops magic working. You know that, you were there."

  "That's to stop you using magic to get through the door, and to stop the artifacts giving off too much magic, not to stop you suddenly appearing right there in the room."

  "You sure about that? You sure that if I used it, jumped right there into the warehouse, that the scrubbers and the disruption they cause wouldn't make the sudden appearance of a magical device go a little wonky? That I wouldn't end up scattered around the Nolands in a billion parts and that my hat wouldn't be ruined?"

  "Um, not a hundred percent, no."

  "There you go then. And besides, even if it did work, how the fuck am I supposed to find all his books? And there's bound to be guards inside. Sure, I could deal with them, but those scrubbers are the real concern. I felt it, they put a damper on any magical artifact in the warehouse, and if the Teleron goes wonky then I'm screwed."

  "Fine, so what are we going to do?

  "Find another way."

  Beautiful silence descended, and for half an hour we were lost to our own thoughts, racking our brains for a way to pull this off. It was madness, it was Cerberus HQ and no way could we do this.

  Then I had an idea.

  No Time Like the Present

  Vicky sat in silence—praise be—while I laid out my tentative plan, formulating most of it as I spoke. The more I talked, the more I got excited and convinced it just might work. Maybe. And if not, then let no man or beast say that The Hat hadn't tried his best to do the impossible.

  During the whole time, Vicky remained motionless, back ramrod straight in the chair, looking like a gnome perched on a mushroom with her favorite tight red sweater, her hair pinned back so tight she looked like she'd had a cheap face lift, and her little pert nose scrunching up and wriggling about as if it had someplace else it would rather be.

  "And that's how we do it," I said with a final flourish. Then I leaned back in my chair, folded my hands over my belly, and grinned at her, waiting for the praise to be heaped upon the master of thieves.

  "Hmm," she mumbled, eyes downcast, suddenly finding the scrubbed table of interest. I say scrubbed, it still had traces of felt tip pen all over it where the girls had "accidentally" missed their paper, even though I'd provided them with the largest sheets I could possibly find. Not that I was bothered or anything, but I decided I'd treat myself and buy a new one.

  I felt deflated, and then annoyed, as since when did I let Vicky make the decisions? I was the mastermind, she found out the info and then proceeded to get in my way and mess my plans up. But this was different. She was properly involved, as much a part of this as I was. Why? Because the vampires had asked specifically for her to be a part of this, and I guess that was because they knew we were a team. Not just that though. For all her nonsense, her drama, and her pint-sized peculiarities, she was smart.

  "Haha, got you." Vicky's eyes suddenly flared like supernovae, body animated, and then she poked out her tongue and smiled. "It's so mad it might actually work."

  "You think?"

  "Yes, I do. So, if we're going to do this, let's do it. Can you get everyone together, so we
can do this today?"

  I thought for a moment, wondering if that was possible, then grinned back at her, and nodded. "I'll try my best. There's a lot to do though. You'll have to pull off some crazy things if we're to get away with this. Your skills up to it?"

  "Arthur, I may have had a few issues recently, but I'm still one of the best hackers in the country. I can access anywhere, do anything. Just tell me what you need and I'll get it done. Oh, but I'll have to go get the girls, get a sitter." Vicky considered her options, then said, "Actually, maybe George would do it. I don't trust anyone else with them, not yet, and all my so-called friends, those bitches, have hardly called since Harry. Nobody comes around. They left me alone."

  "People can't handle things like that. Nobody knows what to say or do, so they stay away," I said, knowing it hurt but that it was also understandable. But mostly knowing they'd never been her friends in the first place and she was right, they were bitches.

  "Maybe. Anyway, will she?"

  I called George and she promised to pick the girls up later from school and take them home to their posh pad. That gave us the whole day, and night, to get this done.

  Were we being overly optimistic, thinking we could get all of this done in a day?

  Yes, we were. But there was one very important thing I'd learned over the years when it came to stealing things and getting away with it. The faster you act, the less chance there is of being caught. Information always leaks, someone gets a hint of something and their guard is up.

  People's suspicions become aroused by the simplest of acts, even if there are no snitches, and then you're screwed. If you want to nick stuff off other people, and you are involving anyone but yourself, then you'd best act fast or you'd find yourself either dead or worse. I'd had both of those things happen, and wasn't in the mood for a chat with Death or being caught by Cerberus.

  Plus, Vicky had to get deep into some dark stuff online, and no matter how good she was there would be a virtual footprint, so we had to do this and do it now if we stood even a remote chance.