Lost Hope Read online

  “Arthur, you don’t understand. Poor human. I knew exactly what I was doing, and that’s what scares me the most. I am not like you, never will be. I feel no remorse for the man I tortured and killed. He’d done the same to me, he deserved it.”

  “Oh, right.” It was then it truly hit home how alien the fae were. You try to instill a belief system and a morality on those you love, when the truth was, Sasha wasn’t human and her way was very different to mine. It didn’t change one thing though.

  “Still love you,” I said with a grin.

  “Me too.”

  I think that meant more to her than anything. That I forgave her and if not understood then accepted. It was like chastising a lion for killing its prey, or hating on a cat because it played with a mouse before stomping it. It was nature, pure and simple. Did that excuse her actions? No, probably not. But she was family, and you can forgive family for a hell of a lot more than you can a stranger. It’s just the way we’re wired.

  “I’m sorry about all of this,” whispered Sasha.

  “You already apologized, and there’s no need. You’ve saved me enough times, gave me the gift of life. This is the least I can do. I’m not pretending this all makes sense, I can’t fathom Martha and her schemes, but it doesn’t matter. Your enemy is my enemy. Until the day I die my final death.”

  “That means so much to me, you will never know how much. And as for Martha, my half-sister has clearly grown bitter over the years, has been plotting and scheming as is our way, and my guess is that her husband’s death, then doing what she did to that poor man, was too much for her to take. It drove her insane, now she has only one thing left. Me.”

  “Don’t forget Juice,” I reminded her. “She set him up to make it look like she was dead, just so she could get close to me, but she must love him. He’s her son.”

  “He is a fool, and yet, you may be right. We shall see. Come, let’s go hunt a faery.”

  I studied Sasha’s swaying hips as she crossed the plaza. Damn, there went one scary lady. I was glad she was my friend, but it gave me pause. Fae really were different to us. I wondered what Martha had in store now her plan was in ruins. Nothing good, that was for sure.

  As I ran to catch up with Sasha, I tried to push aside the image of a naked Steve standing between my daughter and best friend.

  Hell, when did Vicky become my best friend? Things were worse than I’d thought.

  Hunting

  As I followed Sasha, I understood that my moping since the thing with Candy had been nothing but me indulging myself in feeling miserable because I felt I should be. I definitely did feel bad for what I’d done, knew it had changed me for the worse, and had felt like a fool, and so sad for losing something that could have been so good, but it went deeper than that. I didn’t feel as bad as I maybe should have, and that was too scary a thing to accept.

  I had killed the woman I had come close to loving. My darkness, my descent into misery and being more aloof than usual, was in reaction to my own fear about myself. What kind of monster was I? Killing was a part of who I was, what I did, and I had killed more than I could count, but still, I should have felt worse. So to cover my fear, my horror, I’d sunk into a funk, depressed and angry with the world because in truth I had nobody to blame but myself, and I didn’t even blame myself that much.

  Acceptance was all that remained. This was who I was, I knew that. I killed, I had wild adventures, I lived the life of a wizard to the fullest, and that came at a terrible cost. This was why I clung to family and friends the way I did. I knew that without them, without the love I felt, and the need to protect them, I would be a very dark person indeed.

  Such pathetic insights into my own psyche lifted my shroud of helplessness once and for all. It was done, in the past. I did what I felt was right, was just, and now it was over. A new chapter in my life was playing out right now, and if I didn’t get my act together everything I held dear would be gone for good.

  Time to look to the future.

  So it was with a smile, as I stepped fully into the moment and perversely enjoyed the thrill of a life and death situation, that I caught up with Sasha and we began our hunt for the woman that would do my family harm.

  We didn’t have to search for long.

  Cat and Mouse

  We entered the building through a small door tucked away under an arch, much more sensible than marching through the front door. Sasha led the way. She knew the place like the back of her hand even though she hadn’t been here since she was a truly young woman in the first blush of adulthood. Down narrow passageways, through large rooms, hallways that seemed never ending, and then we were in the main spaces of the castle, abandoned long ago. All furnishings and decoration were stripped but the place was still warm and almost felt alive, not a speck of dust anywhere.

  It was eerie, as though the ghosts of her ancestors were watching, the magic so strong I wanted to reach out and grab it, stuff it into my mouth and top up on the really good stuff.

  The closer we got to the parts of the castle Sasha had frequented the most, the slower she became, the more cautious. We said nothing, stepped as quietly as cats on the prowl waiting for the mice to break for cover at our approach, but we heard nothing. As the rooms became more extravagant in size and the carvings high above, around arches, or in hidden alcoves became ever more beautiful and elaborate, Sasha grew increasingly wary.

  This was the heart of the old home, rooms used for entertaining, for dining, for relaxing in the evening, and for ruling over a large empire, but nowhere for playing. It was cold and heartless despite the heat and beauty that surrounded us. This was a life abandoned, and nothing we did here would ever bring it back, could ever make this a home again for Sasha.

  And then we emerged through a hidden door into a grand area with a carved rib-vault ceiling criss-crossing like something out of a gothic masterpiece. The floor was smooth marble, and we kicked up faery dust as we stepped cautiously across it. A double staircase with the same marble for steps and rails swept up either side in a majestic curve that made me lightheaded. It was beyond nice, it was true art with a depth that was impossible to explain. It was something wondrous, designed by a sharp mind. Definitely not her father’s; her mother’s maybe.

  Sasha stared at it and shed silent tears.

  “I ran up and down these stairs a million times in my youth. Slid down the banisters, got scolded repeatedly. But I never listened, always had to do it one more time. My mother would catch me at the bottom, only when Father wasn’t at home. We had some good times.”

  “Sounds since.”

  “It was, unless Father was here. He was away so much.”

  “Visiting me!” came a scream from the top of the stairs. Martha descended several steps until we could see her. She looked furious, fuming like steam would come out of her ears. Juice was beside her, looking utterly terrified.

  “And did he beat you and belittle you and shame you? Did he suck the joy from your life and think it fair to humiliate you in front of your entire family and everyone you had ever met in your life? Did he try to ruin your wedding to teach you a lesson?”

  “No, he was always stern, but that was right, how fae are. He wanted me to grow up to be strong, not some pathetic weakling like you. You’re a disgrace. You’re full fae and you act like a pathetic human. I’m twice the fae you are. You took him from me.”

  “I didn’t even know you existed,” protested Sasha. “What was I meant to do, let him abuse me and ruin my life?”

  “No, you were meant to do as your father told you. And besides, no matter what he did, and maybe he was mean-spirited, he loved us, loved me, and you destroyed it all. Mother was weak, she left me soon after too. I was alone, and I had nobody. Nobody. You ruined my life! But I showed you, I showed them all. I made something of myself, played with these weak humans and built something for my future, for my child’s future. Oh, such a disappointment. Look what I have.” Martha glared at Juice in disgust. “A weak, pathe
tic human child. He is not fae, he is a fool.”

  “Wow, bit bitter, are we?” I shouted. “Sasha was a victim, she had no choice. Nobody gets to decide your future, nobody has that right, not even a father.”

  “He had every right. He loved me. The only one who ever did. She destroyed everything.”

  Martha was screaming at the top of her lungs, totally losing the plot. “Look what I have. An idiot child who would kill me.”

  “You said you planted that seed, made him think it would be a good idea.”

  “But I didn’t think he’d do it! He’s weak, not worthy. But I have all the time in the world. I’ll have more children, fae children, and I will return this place to its former glory, make it a home once more. I’m done with you all. You are holding me back, a sign of the weakness in our family. You must be destroyed.”

  “Mum?” said Juice quietly. “I’m sorry, okay? You said yourself you made me do it. I wasn’t thinking right. It’s me, your son.”

  Martha spun on Juice and backhanded him cross the face, just like Sasha’s father did to her when she was caught singing in a field. But Juice was only a small part fae, and it wasn’t exactly prominent, so the blow sent him flying. He staggered as he lost his footing, hit the banister, then flipped over the side.

  Juice landed on the marble floor, his head split open. Blood and brain oozed from his skull.

  “No coming back from this one, Juice,” I said.

  True Colors

  “Stupid boy,” said Martha as she stared at the broken corpse of her son. “If only you’d been more like my true love.” Her face hardened at the mention of the Hangman and she turned away from her son in disgust, fixed her gaze on us instead. Gotta say, she was one intense lady.

  “Look what you made me do,” she snapped.

  “Us? Are you out of your freaking mind? What did you going full-on psycho-bitch have to do with us?”

  “I had hoped he would have grown into a true man after all this excitement. That he would have proved himself, shown he had some backbone. Unfortunately he didn’t. He betrayed me, he had no willpower, and he was weak. A pathetic child.”

  “He was your son,” said Sasha so quietly I wondered if Martha heard.

  “So what?” she snapped.

  “Your own flesh and blood. You gave birth to him. Do you know how precious a gift that is? No, don’t answer, I don’t think I could bear to hear your reply. You are my sister, and I would have forgiven you for all of this, but you go too far, sister. You are the one who has shown her true colors.”

  “Yes, sisters,” spat Martha. “One weakling, feeling sorry for the dead child who was a feeble human with no spine, yet you thought nothing of killing your own father, destroying my life and yours. Look at you, prancing around in your sparkly dress, wiggling your hips and tempting the humans. You’re pathetic.”

  “You’re just jealous,” I said. “Sasha is the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. Sure, she has anger issues, but who doesn’t? Difference between her and you is she cares. Plus, she’s hot, and doesn’t look like a prune steeped in vinegar for several millennia.”

  Wand wiggled in my pocket, craving attention, so I pulled him out. “What?”

  “I was just gonna say, she’s also got lovely tits.”

  I grinned at Wand’s bluntness, and as I turned to Sasha my smile vanished as I saw her frown. Oh, bugger.

  “Um, you wouldn’t by any chance be able to hear what this very naughty stick says, would you?” I asked, dreading the answer but already knowing it.

  “I would,” said Sasha, glaring at me like it was my fault.

  “Hey, don’t blame me, blame him.” I shook Wand like I could get the rudeness out.

  “You can’t blame me,” protested Wand. “I’m a stick and I bet I’m totally under the thrall of Arthur. He made me say it. I wouldn’t do anything to annoy a faery, not one as hot as you. Um, as divine and lovely as you, who I don’t ever think about in a naughty sexy way and would never dream of imagining rubbing me all over your firm—”

  “I think that’s enough,” I said, wondering how it was possible for a sentient stick to be this stupid.

  “More than enough,” said Sasha, giving Wand a vibe so intense I was surprised he hadn’t burst into flames.

  “Enough with this nonsense,” ordered Martha, still at the top of the stairs.

  “Don’t shout at me. It wuz him wot dun it. Lock him up and throw away the key.” I shook Wand in admonishment and he had the grace to look sorry.

  “You’re a fool.” Martha locked her gaze on Sasha. “You surround yourself with imbeciles. You deserve to die, and I’m going to ensure you do.”

  “Don’t think so,” I said, trying to keep the smirk off my face. I said a silent, “Good job,” to Wand and he had the sense to remain quiet.

  Sasha nodded at me and with that I lifted Wand as fast as I could and the sigils burst into angry life, drawing my will and the power of Faery, a straight connection for him as this was where he came from, and the air whooshed from us in a rush. Wind howled up the stairs and slammed into Martha, pushing her back.

  “You think a little breeze can hurt me? Haha, you are more inept than I thought.”

  I said nothing, just continued blasting, and as she was shunted backward she must have realized we’d been playing her. While she was distracted with our nonsense talk, Sasha had discreetly opened a Path behind Martha. Only one more step and she’d be through. I didn’t want to think about what awaited her on the other side, but I knew it would be something suitably nightmarish.

  Martha turned and saw the black hole that was her fate. She panicked, tried to get away. She grabbed the banister and gripped until her hands were whiter than her bloodless lips, and dragged herself away. Wand surged with power, upping the ante, and the wind began to howl, magic pushing with all our combined might. Martha was losing her grip and then she’d be gone, and good riddance to her.

  I gritted my teeth and continued with the outpouring of energy, but it was losing its power as my strength waned. Wand did all he could to keep it up, drawing on the essence of this place, but it wasn’t working, not against someone who belonged. Just one more shove and it would all be over. I redoubled my efforts, was in sync with Wand, and together we summoned the power from somewhere. The air turned violent as wild eddies of air chewed at the steps and ripped chunks off.

  Martha was holding on by her fingers now, her grip slipping. Her legs were blown out from under her, until her body was horizontal, her feet inches away from the portal that was sucking her into a terrible fate. And then it happened.

  She lost her hold and headed straight for the Path. Good riddance.

  A blur of movement shot out from the side and grabbed her body, moving it away from the Path, coming to a stop halfway down the stairs.

  The Path snapped shut, too late. My magic died, Wand fell asleep instantly, and I stood there, gaping, as Carmichael, looking unruffled, placed Martha down gently on the stairs.

  “Now the real battle begins,” said Carmichael as he brushed lint from the shoulder of his expensive, very twat-like suit.

  Some days I just can’t catch a break.

  Hardly a Surprise

  “I was wondering when you’d turn up.”

  “Arthur, what’s this all about?” asked Sasha.

  “It’s Carmichael, you know him.”

  “I do.”

  “He’s in on this with Martha. She had a Teleron, and it’s doubtful she got it anywhere else. I figured Carmichael had given her a helping hand. They obviously know each other. He’s broken his word, his promise, his vow as a man of honor, but I gotta say, I didn’t expect to see you here, Carmichael.”

  “My dear boy, needs must and all that.” Carmichael gave Martha a stern look then turned his attention back to us. “I see Martha dear has been keeping you busy. But this isn’t about fun and games, this should have been ended long ago.”

  “I’m more than capable of dealing w
ith them,” snapped Martha, glaring at us.

  “Indeed? You seem to have done very poorly so far. You say you are capable, yet here they are. The man who stole from the warehouse, and the woman who protects him, keeps him safe. And the others? I presume they too are safe and well?”

  “They tricked me. They killed my poor dear husband.”

  “Enough talk of that old fool. Martha, that was a different time and another life, you should leave the poor dead fellow in peace.”

  “He’s at peace now. Or should I say, pieces?” I grinned at Martha then poked out my tongue, which seemed to wind her up for some reason.

  She stepped forward to come marching down the stairs and have at The Hat but Carmichael put a hand to her shoulder and she stopped.

  “Now, now, Martha, your volatile nature will get you into trouble. Let’s not be hasty, okay?”

  “Hell, what is with you guys? Let me ask you a question before we get into this.”

  “As you wish,” said Carmichael, looking bored.

  “Is it true you like to suck donkey di—”

  “Arthur!” scalded Sasha.

  “What? I was just going to ask if the rumors about him and donkeys were true. I mean, look at him. He looks like the kind of guy who loves getting on his knees and sucking—”

  “Arthur, enough.”

  “Fine. Let me rephrase this. What happened to your honor? Back when we dealt with Mikalus, you gave me your word that things were cool between us. Bonding over the death of the First. I’ve been giving you back the artifacts I took, you get them every month, and we’ve stayed out of each other’s way, so why now?”

  “Because one of our own needed my help. And when I heard what that help was, well, I’d have been a fool to say no.”

  “One of your own?”

  “Yes, Martha has been an invaluable asset over the years, haven’t you, my dear?”

  “Anything to stop the idiot humans abusing magic. They don’t deserve such wondrous things. They disrupt the Nolands with their interfering.”